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Hurt or Pain

Recently, me and the whole family (on my side) are having misunderstanding on one thing that i don't even imagine that will cross our way....

You see, we are 5 siblings in our family, not easy to handle and surely, a headaches to my parents... we survived all troubles as we grow up.. until we finish school and had our own family.. not to mentions some little cat fight between us 4 girls, but after that, we are still intact and happy as we go on malling together once in a while... until last year, my only brother brought someone in our parents house that changes our life...

i can't go more on details... but it really breaks my heart..

i asked my husband yesterday, if he thinks i'm going overboard on what i am saying and telling them (my family) or am i dictating them on what to decide or do.. he said, "you maybe right, but not to them" and i know from then on, i should stop.. 
but every time i've heard even a faint whisper of a "that" name, i felt my blood burning inside... as i always joke, " reaching the maximum level" .....ready to explode...


i once again asked my husband what will be the right words to describe my feelings... is it "i'm hurt? or i'm in pain?"... "maybe both?" and right there.... he knows, i needed a heavy dose of tight hugs and a pat on my back to let me know he will be on my side whatever happens on this "battle' (and so to describe it)... and then he answer that its the same ... and just to let go...


the homily at the church reminds me to forgive, because unforgiveness weakens the spirit... as i prayed, they will never know my true intentions.. that me and my younger sister are there for them not for our own gain but for their own sake..

but i know someday, or one day... the wounds will heal... and that we will be a happy family again... tested through time.


Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.

-Leo Buscaglia

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