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A CUP OF HOPE


The pain of this ordeal is going on and on because they wanted to show everyone that they are right and we are wrong.  And we deserved this kind of treatment and punishment.  They never knew the feeling because they don't feel it. It is very disheartening and depressing.  They only focus on proving to you how you will fall down slowly and in shameful ways.  They don’t want to listen anymore because they totally believe that eventually, no matter what you do, even you prove that your innocent, you will never win because we are up here and you were down there. 


They don’t want to dig on the deeper aspect on how this has all began. Why? How did it happen? Is the person credible? What is this person’s intention? Revenge? Or being plain manipulative?


But I always pray to God to end this story. I'm really begging Him to help me heal.  That this chapter of my life is so painful that I’m asking our dear Lord to help me turn the pages. To begin with a new story, story of moving on and forgetting that this ever happened.  


Thank you, Lord! I still believe in miracles, and my miracles comes with You. I’m so thankful for the surprising good news.  May you bless every person who really knows and who still believes in us.  Thank you for being the instrument for someone who open their windows to let us in because they knew that one closes their door.  Thank you, Lord for them.  May you bless them for being our additional pillars of strength.  Lord, You never fail to show us that silver linings.  You always there when I needed You the most.  You answered our prayers during the crucial times of our lives.  When we are losing the will to carry on, You always give the sign that we are with You.  That you understand, Lord. That you are forgiving. 




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Hearts day story


It’s Valentines day, and instead of the usual celebration with my family, complete with the roses and chocolates or a fine dining,  I choose to stay at home.  My son brought the candy rose at school so he can give it to his crush (he’s just 7!) in the 2nd grade.  I usually baked some goodies so he can give it to his teachers and friends but pity me, I don’t really feel like doing it, not now, not today.  And after I sent him to school, I go back to sleep beside his sister and had a nightmare in the morning! I know it's because I started to think again the whole situation again. This should be over by today. But its not, they have to prolonged the inevitable.  It brings back so many things and I can’t help it, my heart feels so heavy. And then I started to pray.  I pray for God’s strength and guidance.  That He will help us lift our broken spirit.  I pray that this too shall pass.  That we can start to get back to our feet again.  That whenever we feel down, I know He will always there to carry us. 


To keep off my mind on the sad truth, I started digging my baking cabinet for something to do.  I notice I have the complete ingredients for the chewy chocolate chips cookies I wanted to bake and while my little assistant keeps on stirring her little spoon on my cookie dough, I still manage to bake 50 pcs of it.  I was rewarded by the oh’s and ah's of my family because the delicious smell of the freshly baked cookies is all over the house. I am so grateful for the love of the family. 


I cannot bring back what has happened. I just wish and pray that this will be over soon.  And when this is over, and because after the rain, the storm, the pain, there is always a rainbow.  God is with us through this journey.




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#NeverAgain


A niece of mine called me early morning about one Facebook post of someone whom she knows that was all about me.  After all, that same person who posted that “meaningful” posts has made some remarkable lessons we truly learned in our life, particularly on me.


To begin with, I love to help. It may be a wounded animal or a helpless stray kitten or dogs or reptiles that I can help just to give them a chance to live, I’m doing it.  My hubby said I can be a veterinarian.  So, when this particular person asked me to help so they can live a better life (according to this person), I didn’t hesitate.  After all, I’ve known their family for so long and the tears in this person eyes can melt even the hardest heart.  And my family, my whole family extend their arms open wide to help them.  We did our best, we help this person with all our heart. But that’s one story of our life. How could we ever know this person’s real intention? Or the life behind the smile? The façade that was carefully planned? Or the deceitful looks?


My family was left astounded by the fact that this person rained chaos on us but still maintain the innocence that others deemed believable.  So, this news about this person’s post drama is a no brainer for us.  My sisters and I decided to cut the ties from all of them.  We will never entertain any negative thoughts that might stressed us out or might trigger us to say something.  We will block all of them who will try to ruin the tight and happy family we have now.  We will not succumb to the helpless pleas they knew would melt our heart, just like they always did before. We will not break because they did something that would make them feel victorious.


And we’ve done our part.  God knows that we’ve done our part. Forgiveness will be the next, then let go and turn it over to God. It’s time to heal.








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All is Well


… Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

You created us, chose us, bought us, reconciled us, and delight in us. Who cares what anybody else thinks, says, or feels about us? Forgive us for giving any other voice more power over our hearts than yours—whether it’s the accusations of the devil or the meanness of men, the contempt of our shame or the flattery of the world. – Scotty Smith www.thegospelcoalition.org


When I feel the familiar pain in my heart and the sleep begins to betrays me, I feel so all alone.  I started to browse my phone book and wish somebody would talk to me to keep my mind off things.  The resentment and betrayal started to rise and clouded my mind, because I wanted to give all the justifications I want to be free from this hurt.  I would do anything not to feel the pain, to escape this nightmare and to just go back the way it used to be before.


That’s when I started to read some of the write ups and stories about asking for forgiveness and giving it all to God.  The above article I’ve read is the exact feeling I have since the day it happens. Who am I to whine? To complain?


This is the lessons you will learn the hard way.  You will be shamed, provoked, but it doesn’t mean that God left us to depend ourselves, God never let His children wonder the forest alone, He will always be there for us, for me.


As I write this story, I felt that the heaviness in my heart started to go away, that’s how I know that God touches me to remind me that He will be with me every step of the way.


With God for Us, All Is Well.

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Think Food

I fear that a month long of being at home will make me realize that I don’t want to go back to work anymore.  My creative mind has this inner urge deep inside of me that maybe it’s about time to continue the food business I really wanted to start with years ago.


I begin on the pre-order of the delicious longganisa (it’s a native sausage made from the Philippines) with the variety of spices enough to make it as one of the favorite food on the table especially during breakfast.


But for us, we can eat it any time of the day.  With fried eggs and fried rice and fresh red tomatoes, your life is in heaven! 😊



I hope I can be able to make a pre-ordered cooked viand with the help of my colleague who leave near our place in time for lunch.  Or a baked goodies in time for Valentines day. 


I just need to bring my mind back to its shape and in God’s will, this is the right moment to move on.


uncooked longganisa

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The Right Ones

“When you rise in life, your friends know who you are.
When you fall down, you know who are your friends”


True friends show their love in troubles, not only in happiness.  And the friends I’d been with through the years are now staying silent through out the ordeal.  Not even Hi or Hello, even they can see you often active in your messenger and they know your mobile number. 

I won’t complain. I don’t even want to feel upset about it. That’s how is it.  I come to realize that those people you are not expecting to be by your side are the one’s rallying to help you cope.  Giving you prayers, wishing you well and helping you move on.

Friends that they don’t even care if it’s late at night as long as you still want to talk. Friends that will ask you how you feel, or they include you in their prayers.

I am not demanding the others to do the same.  It just thought that they have their own personal reasons not to support me, or maybe feel they just don't really care. But when they start believing on the hearsay and believing the lies they are hearing that spread around is a different story.  They might think it’s true even without confirming it to me.  To be honest, it hurts me the most.  But I guess with all the versions of the story, I can’t blame them.  Sometimes it’s too believable and they might think it’s possible.  That’s the kind of friends you would want to forget as you move on.  But I will always be thankful for all the moments of happiness with them. 

Even in the midst of the pain, life is worth living.


God is good all the time. 



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Silver Linings

When you go to a depression mode, you will always think the unthinkable.  Your heart will palpitate for no apparent reasons, you will feel down at no cause, you think someone or somebody is talking behind your back, you will think the world is against you, that nobody believes and nobody cares for you anymore.  I know there’s so much more than that and I can't mention it all.  But believe me, you wouldn’t want to be there.  You wouldn’t want to be on their shoes, you wouldn’t want to feel like what we feel, what they feel.


But amidst all of these storms in your life, you have to give yourself and your mind and your heart to the Lord above.  He will help you realize that eventually this will all end, made you stronger and He will always protect you and help you ease the burden.


I come to realize upon talking to a friend last night that I am not made of stone as I projected myself to them.  I carry a brave voice and a straight mind but deep inside I am crushing and my heart always feel the heavy load. And then I pray.  I asked our Dear God to help ease the pain.  That above all these, life will move on and so am I.   


I just need to rely to God that whenever I feel down and weak, He will there to always carry me.



Thank you, Lord for giving me another day.  That I wake up every day seeing my family giving me encouraging words, believing in me, helping me cope.  And my kids saying I love you, giving me their tightest hug as wide as their small arms can offer and that their smile and happy heart makes me find the courage that I will make it through above all the chaos.  

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