Living Mye Life

I have so many things to say on my blog but here I am, struggling for words.  

God knows what I am feeling right now and so this is my earnest prayer to our Almighty God.

Lord, strengthen me so I won’t decide hastily that I will regret later.

I know You know that this is about my work.  You know how I feel that day and till now, I am struggling to cope up with that.

Help me feel renewed again so I can forget and move on. 

Lord, hear our prayers, so that my loving better half will soon have a job that will help us secure the future of our two kids.

Lord, You know I am not asking for too much.  

With what is happening in this world and the pandemic we are facing right now.

You know the doubts we have in our heart.

But I know Lord that You are always and forever with us, O Lord.  

That You will never let us feel alone, sad and wondering if we can still make it another day.

Help me to think straight and cast the burdens upon You. 

I’m tired but I know You will carry my heavy loads.

Lead me Lord, for myself, for my family and for mankind.

That we will live according to Your greatest plan for us.              

To God be the glory!

You know, I always say my prayer silently.  It really feels good to read it like this.  During the hardest times of my life, trauma seeps in.  But I prayed to God to give me another chance. And He gave it to me.  So, whatever will happen next, I know that is part of God’s plan for me.  Thank you, Lord.  I will always be thankful to you no matter what. Amen.

" One day, I might not able to run anymore, but that day, is not today"

I cried because my emotions are overflowing I can’t even breath.  I’m overly sensitive these days. But when someone think you are not giving your best and the mistakes from the past was being rubbed to your wounded heart, I think crying is the best way to let it flow.

Who wants to feel that you don’t belong? I don’t want to hear someone says I am not doing my job.  It hurts the hell out of me.  I think not only that it was a slap to my bleeding heart, but it’s against what I believe in.   

But then again, I deserve it.  I have those moments before that I know will hunt me because I came from the other team.  And sometimes, commands responsibility sucks.  So, after I let it out, a colleague reminds me that maybe it happens because I need to step up, and I need to show what I am capable of.  I know I must think that it was just a challenge and forget the negative vibes.  And the moment that I seize it, I will show them I deserve to be on this team. 

So, cheer up, myself 😊 I already cry it out (well, silently) and then it’s time to let it go.

I’ve read someone that everyone must choose one of two pains: The Pain of Discipline and the Pain of Regret

What would you choose?

Anyways, my big birth day is tomorrow.  I deserve to be happy at least once a year 😊

I know I shouldn’t apologize on why it takes more than two years to finally post a story on my blog.  I’ve been busy, emotionally, physical, financially and emotionally.  God is my only way how to deal with life’s hardships, challenges, pressures and stress.  My kids are my inspirations to stand up and take the plunge.

Working in fast-moving operations is a no-easy task. It drains you out, it bleeds you, it will suffocate you. But you know me, I live for this.  You can put me in a forest pull of hyenas and within days I will either tame the hyenas or I am a hyena myself. 😊

I had a chance to change my course, to change my life for a better me. To correct the path I want to walk through. I just wish they will gave me the chance to show what I am capable off.  That they will trust me as I trust them with full honesty.  I never ask for recognition on anything good or even great job that I accomplished.  Knowing they liked me and they needed me, I am satisfied with that.

I might have more time to post.  This COVID 19 virus suddenly stops the world and freeze mankind and forced each and everyone of human and pets to stay at home.  Only God knows how it will end.  I’m giving it all to God.  But for now, stay at home please.  And for everyone to keep safe. Let’s  wash our hand. 😊