Living Mye Life

I’m 4 months on the way today.  How time flies.  I’m marking my calendar every week and don’t you dare me called me excited J But unfortunately, I got a cough, sore throat and colds which prompt an unscheduled visit to my OB.  I was given an antibiotic for 1 week, Bactidol for my throat, 500mg of vitamins C twice a day and needs to drink 2 liters of water everyday.  With the changing weather nowadays I can see that most people are getting sick similar with mine.  I hate being sick, especially now that I’m having a baby with me. 

credits to owner

My tummy is getting rounder each day.  My need to scratch my tummy is getting consistent but I need to be careful to avoid dark stretch marks.  My body is changing and usually I’m so tired and feeling weak when I come home from the office.  My back aches like I carried 50kgs of rice and I just want to lie down and sleep. 

But having Nathan around, just a bunch of kisses from my baby boy makes me strong again and time to play with him even for a while.  Talking with my best friend whose 5 months pregnant helps a lot, too.  We are both quite anxious and excited at the same time.  Well, we still have months to talk about what we are going through.  But I’m happy that we are in the same page till now J

I’ve been reading a lot of articles about children’s behavior.  But what catches my eyes are the articles on dealing with your toddlers and  your behavior towards them.  My husband is working at home now to recuperate on his knee surgery.  He is the one who’s dealing with our 4 years old son, Nathan.  I am quite amazed on how he managed to let him eat his food properly whereas when I’m around the table (mostly during at night and weekends), he would whine at me to help him on his food and sometimes I can’t help but to assist him.  When all of their voice are becoming hoarse telling Nathan to stop doing this and that, I just sat there and doing nothing.  My reasons? They are all reprimanding him for doing something wrong and I don’t need to add to that.  I don’t want him to feel that his every move is wrong.   I’m wondering sometimes if that is right, if I’m doing it right.

I don’t what to lose control of myself when Nathan’s pushing all my buttons.  I regret the one time that I did and I don’t want to be into it again.  So I always keep saying to myself that he’s just curious and whenever you tell him not to do that, he will be more curious and so the never ending cycle begins.  One thing I noticed though, children easily forgives.  No matter how you yell your heart out, give him time out, received some spankings and hurt his feelings, after few minutes, he’d come to you hug you and say sorry for what he’s done and then you will look at him with no trace of hurt and he’s back playing.   And you will be left with the guilty feeling that there you are still seething with anger and he’s the one who’s trying to make amends.  I’ve learned a lot from Nathan.  We are learning from each other every day.  But, at the end of the day, he knows that we love him very much.  :)

I’m 14 weeks and 1 day today.  Time flies and there are lots of changes within me.  Mentally and physically, I’m a bit grumpy today, as one of my work colleagues told me yesterday.  I’m always sleepy and I want to sleep all day.  Though I know it maybe all natural because I’m pregnant but it left me feeling exhausted.   

As I browse the pictures of what 14 weeks baby looks like, I actually feeling quite emotional that my baby is that big now.  I’m excited now for the next ultrasound to know the gender but that will be on December or January next year, I guess.  But for now, I’m happy that I can now eat normally unlike on my first trimester that  I have to say no to many of my favorite foods before because I don’t feel I like to eat them.  My body weight drops which prompt my OB Gyne to asked me to resume drinking milk for pregnant women.  She stopped it because of some risk in my sugar level, but my glucose test result was normal so she said I should eat sweet foods with caution.   I think on my next check-up, my weight is much heavier now than my last.  And I wish my next FBS test is normal. Aja, aja!  :D

When I first met you years ago, on my first day in the office, you smiled at me.  That smile promised me of the many wonderful years ahead with you as my work colleague.  We may never be that close but I know when I needed a helping hand; you never hesitated to offer me one. 

We shared the same passions, reading and laughing out loud.  I remember the times when you borrowed my Harry Potter books and every time you returned it, you never forget to include my favorite box of Cream –O vanilla cream filling sandwich. There are times that we just have to dig on foods at the pantry and we tell funny stories that we end up hurting our tummy and our faces aching because of too much laughing.

I will never forget the day that I had a misunderstanding with my colleague and things went wrong.  I never told anyone my side in the story.  Just when I heard you having a deep conversation with one of our colleagues and it seems that you’re debating on something.  And when we’re having a time alone together that day, you told me that one believed that the misunderstanding was all fault.  But you stands by me telling that person that there are always two sides in a coin.  You believed in me even though I remained silent though out that whole issue.  And I will appreciate that my whole life.

Though you decided to be a stay at home mom and wife, we never cease to communicate. That's what social media is for, right?  And then you offered me to learn how to blog.  And that changes everything, my long lost dream to write and to express my feelings, my plans, my endeavors, you challenged it all.  You help me to set it up, teach me how to write a post and paid the price of being recognized.  It was so challenging and I’m forever grateful to you for all of that. 

When I heard of you having difficulties again with Lupus, I prayed to God to give you more years to come and take the pain away.  This world still needs you to help the others and be with your family for a longest time.  But I guess God needed you more on His side and that He decided He needs you to become our guardian angel.  And so, He wants you to rest from all the pain.  I will never forget you, friend.  Thank you for all the wonderful memories and for sharing your life to us. I know heaven is a beautiful place because they’ve got you there. May you rest in peace, Milet.