The Essence of a Mother

Pls find time to read this touching article from Journal.com


The Essence of a Mother
By: Anne Sevilla-Tiangco

A Jewish proverb states: God could not be everywhere and, therefore, He made mothers.

In not so many words, this proverb sums up the greatness of a mother.

To some people, it may appear as an exaggeration to even place mothers next to the Supreme Creator, but for most of us who have been blessed with amazing moms, that Jewish proverb is a most fitting tribute to everybody’s “hero.”

In celebration of Mother’s Day, we present three incredible moms as they share their joys, their pains, sacrifices and their dreams.

Zenaida Paller
Pre-school teacher
Eton International Primary School

LOSING a child is something that no mother would dare to imagine.

And in Teacher Aida Paller’s case, this tragedy was made even more devastating because she was not around when her child breathed his last.

Paller was already pregnant when her employer in the Philippines asked her to check out a job opportunity in Israel.

She spent six months there as a caregiver and on her way back to the Philippines, she went into labor right inside the airplane in the skies of Thailand.

Thus, she named her “bundle of joy” Charles Thairen, born on July 26, 1989.

Back in the Philippines, Paller immediately went into “mom mode” and resisted all offers to resume work overseas.

“Nalulungkot ako na iwan siya pe-ro kailangan talagang mag-ipon for his future so I decided na palakihin muna siya bago ako ulit umalis,” Paller said.

Charles Thairen was four when Paller left for Lebanon to work as a caregiver.

Paller entered Lebanon amid the war. Communication lines were almost always down. Phone calls from Manila to Lebanon became impossible.

“I remember that the last time I was able to talk to my son was in October 1995. Hindi pa siya nagsasabi ng I love you, pero ang sabi niya sa akin, I’m fine you,” Paller said, her voice beginning to crack.

On December 10, 1995, Paller found herself weeping for no reason at all.

“Ganun pala ‘yun. Kahit wala kang alam, mararamdaman mo pag may nangyaring masama sa anak mo. For no reason at all, basta iyak lang ako nang iyak,” she reminisced.

Then, the dreaded phone call from Manila came.

It was her sister and her me-ssage was short and vague- “your son needs you”- but it was enough to make Paller’s word crumble.

Two days later she was back in Manila and as soon as she saw the funeral tent in their home, she went into hysterics.

“Nag-hysterical ako,’di ko na kinuha bagahe ko, tumakbo na lang ako sa loob,” Paller said, now crying.

It turns out that her precious Charles Thairen sneaked out of their house to buy chocolates in a nearby store but was run over by a passenger jeep.

“Gumuho ang mundo ko. Kaya ko lang naman tinitiis na magtrabaho sa ibang bansa na hindi ko siya kasama para makaipon for his future. Sa isip ko noon, di bale nang magkahiwalay muna kami, basta makaipon lang ako, uuwi agad ako para hindi na ulit kami magkahiwalay,” Paller said.

Paller slipped into depression. To snap out of it, she decided to work again overseas. She went to Hong Kong, worked as a nanny in the morning while undergoing training at the North American Progressive Montessori Teachers Training School.

Every single day for 19 years, she prayed hard for a chance to have another child and to be given the privilege of being a mother again.

“Ang dasal ko lang naman, mabigyan ulit ako ng isa pang anak, magkaroon ulit ako ng pagkakataon na maging mother bago man lang ako mag-40 years old dahil sabi ko mahihirapan na ako pag lampas na ng 40,” Paller said.

A month before marking her 40th birthday in March of 2007, her prayers were answered. She discovered she was pregnant with her second child.

Paller’s second child, whom she named Zean Rafael, was described by her family and friends as a “reincarnation” of Charles Thairen.

“Magkamukhang-magkamukha sila laluna pag naka-smile,” Paller said.

Paller calls Zean Rafael a “miracle baby” and a gift from God, just like his first son, Charles Thairen.

“I feel so blessed to be given a chance to become a mother all over again. It’s worth the wait,” Paller said.


Joanne Tupaz-Parsons
Founder
Kids Ahoy!

SHE gave up her green card, quit a high-paying job in the United States, searched coast to coast to find the “perfect place” for her only child and continuously sacrifices being physically apart from her US-based husband all for the love of her son, Cedric Jae or CJ.

Joanne Parsons, founder of the cool, online kid-focused community Kids Ahoy, admits that not many people would understand the choices that she made, especially uprooting his American citizen kid CJ from the US and raising him here in the Philippines.

“I want CJ to understand that he is lucky for having a privileged life. But he needs to know how he should handle these privileges. He needs to see for himself that not everyone, especially here in the Philippines, experience the same life that he has,” Parsons said.

“Ngayon, pag bumabaha, nag-wu-worry siya (CJ) sa magbabalot and sa mga natutulog sa kalsada. His sense of empathy has definitely grown a thousand fold here in the Philippines,” she further adds.

Parsons said that raising CJ with Filipino values was also one of her strongest motivations in bringing her son here.

“Iba ang sense of family sa Pilipinas. I know that here, he’d grow up to be more respectful, more compassionate and a more caring individual,” she explained.

Everyone who knows Parsons well realize that she is one mom who would move heaven and earth for her son.

Back in the States, Parsons recalled how she initiated a “coast- to-coast search” for the best place to raise CJ.

“We moved seven times in eight years. Everyone was thinking I was crazy. Nothing seemed right for him. Until here. This is where I want him to be,” Parsons said.

Unknown to many, Parson’s journey was spar-ked by a burning passion for self-discovery.

“When I was in the States, there was something obviously missing. I was always depressed, feeling under-utilized. I didn’t feel complete. Parang I wasn’t meant to be there,” Parsons lamented.

She realized that she needs to feel whole in order to be happy and to be able to make a difference in the lives of others.

“I want to be a better person because I want CJ to have the best mom. I want him to be proud of me,” Parsons said.

In her native land, she found herself again and discovered her purpose.

She founded Kids Ahoy which is more like a community of parents and kids rather than a business.

Parsons hesitated when asked about the biggest sacrifice she’s given for CJ.

“I don’t think of these things as sacrifice because as a mother, it comes naturally. For me to do things that I know would be for CJ’s best interest even if it means for now that “my boys” (husband Ed and son CJ) are oceans apart,” she said.

What makes her day is when people tell her that her son, CJ, is a good kid.

“Mabait siya (CJ) and he’s doing well, academically. Through Kids Ahoy’s playtime, he’s meeting a lot of new friends. Sobra siyang diplomatic,” Parsons beams with pride.

Their ultimate dream is for Kids Ahoy to be really successful so that they will be together again as one happy family in the Philippines.

"Next year, we are expecting my husband Ed to settle here with us and I know with that I would be an even better mom because he gives me strength."

The biggest reward that Parsons has received is from son CJ himself.

“He tells me, I am so lucky that you’re my mom because what you do makes others happy. That melts my heart,” Parsons said.

For Parsons, moving to the Philippines with her CJ is the wisest decision she has made.

“The Philippines is not just home. This is our piece of heaven,” she adds.